ESOCS Devotional 5 September 2025 – The Difference Between Love and Lust
MEMORY VERSE: “Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her [was] greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.” 2 SAMUEL 13:15 KJV
TEXT: 2 SAMUEL 13:1-18
After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?”
Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ” 6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”
7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. 11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”
12 But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! 13 And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.
15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”
16 So she said to him, “No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.”
But he would not listen to her. 17 Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.” 18 Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her.
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Today, love is a very misconstrued word. We throw the word love around so much so that the true meaning has been watered down. Love has become more of a contract instead of a covenant. Our love is based on feelings. Our love is conditional. Because of that, our love fades and fails.
In 2 Samuel 13, Amnon thought he knew what love was, but he was really in lust. Love is patient, lust requires immediate satisfaction. Love is kind, lust is harsh. Love does not demand its own way, lust does. A good rule of thumb is this: If you just can’t wait, what you feel is not true love.
If you just can’t wait, what you feel is not true love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives the definition of true love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
This is not just a hallmark card phrase that is quoted pretty much at every wedding in the world, but this is a way of life.
When we love like that, we give without any expectations. When we love like that, we forgive without an apology. When we love like that, we lift others up instead of tearing them down. When we love like that, we always assume the best in everyone.
CHALLENGES
- When was the last time you experienced true love? When was the last time you showed someone love?
- Take a minute to examine if you are living a life of lust or of love.
- What is one thing you need to start doing or stop doing to love well?
PRAYER POINT
- Lord Jesus, help me to love the same way you loved the world and gave your life up to safe us. Amen.
FURTHER READING: 2 Samuel 13:19-39; Romans 6:1-11; Romans 6:12-23
ESOCS Devotional 5 September 2025
